~Even though it is the middle of the day, I'm the only one in this house awake now. Le-Le and all the kitties sleep. It is bright and sunny outside, but the wind is cold and it's blowing and howling like it was midnight on the fucking moors.

Mercury went Retrograde on Saturday night around half eleven. I could feel it when I woke up a few hours ( Read more... )

~I downloaded two old Rod Taylor movies, The Time Machine and Seven Seas to Calais. I realized after I'd done so that I'd first seen both of them at summer camp back in the early Sixties. And I thought about how long ago that was and that my sixty fifth birthday is only a week away and I got very sad.

I should be grateful. I have a roof over my ( Read more... )

~Today was brutal. Made it up to 112°. Just after it got light Le-Le and I put the old AC unit back in her bedroom window for the first time in three years. The heat has been so bad, much hotter than it usually is, that she was rightly worried about getting an MS attack ( Read more... )

...barely functioning...physical pain...emotional exhaustion...unable to write... pressure on self because of all that...more depression...'why bother?'...most humans are scum...dystopia here and now every fucking day...and so on...

~In the past week and half I have found myself hip deep in local Rosamond politics, specifically a bitter recall election drive. I didn't look for it, it found me, largely because of my Political Trolling on a local FB community. Of course, being the Political Junkie I am, I jumped right in ( Read more... )

...the heat is back..tiring..just doing laundry and sleeping..no writing the past two days..I'm okay nonetheless..that's about it...

~Emotionally, I'm all over the map, though my baseline is 'okay'. Been a month since my father's death. Feels like a year. I didn't get depressed over my birthday this year, but that might be because my father's death muddied those waters. I did cry over Martin Milner's death. Maybe something about the 'death of my youth'. Dunno. Again, muddied ( Read more... )

~Twelve days since my father died. I get moments of grief and some tears, but it all has an unreal quality. I suppose that is largely the Time and Distance thing at work. So long since I'd seen him and he was so far away. [New Jersey ( Read more... )

~We're in the end of the month and doing okay. I'm doing better than I was at the beginning of June, but I'm not really okay. It seems that after each of these periods of stress I recover a little bit less of myself than the time before, that I am left physically and emotionally diminished by the event ( Read more... )

~I am so profoundly tired. My body aches and my mind simply does not want to deal ( Read more... )